Its quite jarring to take a blow, whether an unexpected swing, something you didn’t believe possible or even a hit you might have even anticipated. And although I’ve never been physically beaten, there have been circumstances in my life that leave me feeling bruised and broken, left recovering from injury.
The aftermath of such a strike is a dazed mess. Initially, there is a moment of utter calm, a tranquil blur of disconnected thoughts and emotions. The buzzing sounds of numbness, a severed connection. Its here something begins to take form; a deliberate, conscience awareness of the situation. I develop focus.
This leads me to the next distinct realization that something hurts. And hurts terribly. As the pain begins to ring through my senses, I scream out in fear, in panic and sometimes, in anger. At this point, I begin to comprehend the depth of my affliction. To heal, I must first acknowledge the hurt. For as much as I might prefer to forge quickly to my reaction, I must clearly understand what has been injured within me.
Through it all, I deal with confusion; that reasoning voice which cannot explain the attack leaving me reeling with instability. In this wreckage, I begin the discernment process. Questions without answers become answers without questions. Despite chaos, I reach clarity.
And here, I am knocked free. Only through such a blow can I overcome the devaluing damage, the misunderstood rejection and the unexplained hurt. Off balance and often on my knees, this hit becomes freedom to find personal balance. The action against me matters little to the reaction within me. Knocked free to be a better me.